I’ve been receiving a few “are you okay?” emails – ha – and I just wanted to clear the air/set the record straight. Yes, I am okay! Just overly honest and open about the way my mind works.
That said, I was looking back on my recent posts and have to admit that even I was tempted to send myself an email asking if I was okay.
The thing is, learning about ourselves, figuring out why we are the way we are and why we do the things we do – learning how to be happier as us – can often deliver great sadness, paradoxically. To be happy is to put the sources of sadness to bed. But in order to do so, you have to identify the sadness, shake hands and have a conversation with it, before you can send it off into the sunset. Learning ourselves is the hardest thing we’ll ever do. And many don’t take the time to do it.
The “Spring of Sara” was, among other things, me taking the time to do it.
I’m enormously grateful to have had the opportunity to take this time off to explore my passions and find out what makes me tick. But I’m also very excited to take a break from Sara School. It has been quite a learning experience – and not in the ways that result in a promotion, raise or a bonus (aka the way we more comfortably/typically denote “progress”). But, I’d like to think, in the ways that actually matter. (As Charles Wheelan put it, “You’ll never read the following obituary: ‘Bob Smith died yesterday at the age of 74. He finished life in 186th place.'”)
And because this process of figuring out who we are is ever-evolving and tends to last a lifetime, it’s hard to know when or where to put a stake in the ground and say “I made it” or “Because of all that thinking and internal battling, I am now X, Y, Z.” It takes a bit longer to be able to look back and appreciate the seasons of your own life, or see how the dots connect. And I think it won’t be until much later that I can see all the gifts of this experience.
That said, this is a blog. And the point of a blog is to share content, content, content. So before I clock back into the world of the employed on Monday, I’m hoping to put together a list of the important and not-so-important lessons I’ve learned in this “Spring of Sara.” Tie a nice little bow around this experiment.
Thanks to all of you who have taken this journey with me – particularly the ones who have made me feel less odd by admitting they occassionally feel the same way too 🙂 You have proven to me what I have always believed. We are never, ever alone.